A GET TOGETHER JUST HAPPENED!
Holy guacamole! What have I done?! I now have a minimum of NINE people coming for lunch on Wednesday. Additionally, three MORE people are “maybes”, and who knows how many more will be added before Wednesday actually gets here?!!! This started out so simply……then simply got out of control!
In March when we attended the get together (hereafter referred to simply as a gtg) organized on the ExPats in Italy message board, we met, among others, Larry and his daughter. Larry owns a house just outside of Massa Martana, and he and his family were here for a vacation at that time.
Because there were soooo many people at the Siena gtg, it was impossible to talk with any one person for very long. Mostly we just touched base with everyone and wished we could have gotten to talk longer and in more depth.
When Larry emailed us a while back and said they’d be here for a week or so at the end of June, did we want to gtg, we said “Sure!” Because Larry and his wife Shelly are only here for brief periods of time, I figured my kitchen would be a little better equipped to host lunch, so I invited them here.
Later, Shae and Art sent us an email inviting us to their house one day this week, and I thought, what the heck, and asked them if they’d like to come here to get to know Larry and Shelly better. Shae and Art were also at the Siena gtg, but none of us has ever met Shelly….I think Larry and his daughter were the family representatives for the gtg, while Shelly was fulfilling other obligations elsewhere.
Okay, cooking lunch for six people is no big deal. I’m set. Then last week we met Anna and Ramon who are here in Umbria doing what we did a few years ago….making their first city-hunting, house-hunting trip in preparation for their permanent move within the year. We REALLY liked them, and thought that meeting more expats and future expats would be very informative, not to mention fun, so we invited them too. Okay, with us, that’s eight people.
Anna and Ramon had asked about several people on the ExPats message board, specifically Judith. This seemed the perfect opportunity to have Judith see our house and to let Anna and Ramon here yet another expats story! Assuming that her dental emergency turns out to be minor, and that her car gets serviced as scheduled, she’ll be here too. Nine.
THEN I found out that this is the week that Alice Twain (from both the ExPats and ST message boards) had picked to visit Umbria. She and her boyfriend are claiming their prize of a stay at Brigolante, just outside of Assisi. Alice was another person from the Siena gtg that I’d like to know better, and since she lives so far away (Milan), it seemed at shame not to invite her too.
This was the point where I just threw in the towel and decided to post a gtg notice on the ExPats board and see who else might be interested! Alice replied that she wasn’t sure of her schedule for the coming week, but that she was a definite possibility. Possibly eleven.
Then I had a reply from Kellee who lives in Tuscany, about an hour from here. She’s only been here a few weeks, so this is a great opportunity for her to meet some of the neighbors! Twelve.
Then I had a reply from Robert and Mary, who live just south of Todi. They said they’ve been here for FOUR YEARS now, and haven’t met a single American. I’m not sure if they were bragging or complaining, but they did express interest in coming on Wednesday. So let’s see, including us, and if everyone shows up, that’s……FOURTEEN PEOPLE!!! What am I going to make for all these people??!!!!!
We haven’t heard from Bob and Rosemary, and since they don’t have a car, they’d have to take the bus to Marsciano where we could pick them up. Not a problem. We also talked to Wendy and told her to stop by if she could get away from work. That would make seventeen, but what the heck!
So far my menu is: Bruschetta and pecorino cheese as the antipasti, then panzanella (tomato/bread salad), farro with tomatoes, and a bean and tuna salad. Remember, I was trying to keep it simple for me, and also somewhat light, since it’s getting hot. I have a chocolate cake recipe that I cut out of the Louisville Courier Journal while we were there in May, and I’ve been waiting for a large group to try this out! I guess I more than got my wish! I may have to make a second dessert just to be sure there’s enough! Market day tomorrow will be a busy day!
Wednesday afternoon, Post GTG…..
Well everyone has gone, and it worked out just fine. Judith wasn’t able to come because she had dental problems, but Bob and Rosemary were able to hitch a ride with Kellee.
Alice and Lucca didn’t make it, nor did Wendy. Mary arrived without her husband, who was working on their new pool……next gtg at their house! In the end we had a total of twelve people and enough food for twice that many!
Because of the large number of people, we moved the picnic to the small park across the street from our house. There’s already a picnic table and a few benches, so Art assembled the round plastic table we have in the garage and brought out the extra chairs.
The park is shady where the tables were, and the ground is fairly level. I sat bottles of water in cold water in our small cooler to keep it cool. We had a nice breeze all afternoon long, and even though it was very hot in the sun, sitting in the park was quite enjoyable.
The food was good…the salads were light and refreshing, and Kellee was kind enough to bring a pasta salad with meat and cheese. I wasn’t very i9mpressed with the chocolate cake I made….not that it was bad, but it seemed like a lot of work, and in the end I’d just as soon have a pan of brownies. Oh well, that’s another recipe tried and discarded.
It was so great for everyone to be able to put faces to names and to hear each other’s stories. Mary told us about a great store near Todi that we need to check out, and shared pool supply information with Larry and Shelly. Anna and Ramon were able to hear different opinions on moving here, and to learn about some different areas.
I’m sure that we’ll all keep in touch. Some of us are here full time, some only part time. Some of us have been here for several years, while Kellee just arrived a few weeds ago and Anna and Ramon are still in the planning stages. It’s so nice to be able to pool our resources! Even bad experiences provide useful information about what NOT to do!
Thanks to Larry for instigating this wonderful afternoon!
Left to right, Kellee, Anna, Ramon, Art
Left to right: Larry (plaid shirt with his back to the camera), Shelley, Shae, Art M, Bob, Kellee, Rosemary and Mary (in yellow, with her back to the camera)
REALITY
A friend expressed concern about a recent blog where I had written that I felt like an outsider in Italy. As usual, the written word is never able to express the mood or the attitude of the writer, and is often misconstrued. I’m never sure if what I write comes off as whiny or bitchy when that’s not my intention. Maybe a little clarification about what it means to live in Italy is in order.
One of the most traumatic times in my life was when I was in the seventh grade. My dad called a family meeting to announce that we would be moving from New Albany, Indiana to Pittsburgh. He had been promoted and transferred. I must have cried for days on end. For me it was the end of the world. Having to leave all my friends and relatives at that age was one of most difficult things I can imagine.
Needless to say I absolutely HATED Pittsburgh and everyone associated with it for quite a while, and just about the time I was adjusting to my new life (a year later), my dad announced that we were moving BACK…but we’d be across the river in Louisville, so I’d have to make new friends all over again. Again, more crying.
Had I been the more adventurous sort I’m sure I would have reacted differently, but I also think that my age had a lot to do with it. Girls can be so cliquey and snotty at that age, and I was never really very good at making friends. Unfortunately our move to Louisville wouldn’t take place until October, meaning that I missed the start of the school year and all the helpful and informative activities that are usually held at that time.
Anyway, the point of all this is to let you know that I was never very good at change. I always thought that I would find the perfect house and live there forever. Unfortunately, my ex-husband got that house when we divorced.
When Art and I bought our first house together, we thought we would be there forever. Then we went to a Homearama and found a house we wanted to build. After a few years in that house we decided that the yard was just too much to keep up with, and that considering how much we traveled, a condo might be the best thing. We searched and searched and finally found the perfect condo, and thought we’d be there forever. Then we decided to move to Italy. I was truly amazed at how much I’d changed!
I guess I now realize that wherever Art is, that’s where home is. As long as we’re together, healthy and happy, the location isn’t important. Over the past few months we’ve been questioning our financial ability to stay in Italy due to the weakness of the dollar. I think that since my mom’s estate (finally!) closed, we’re in a little better shape….at least I’m not in CONSTANT panic mode, just occasionally!
When we first realized that we were moving to Italy, of course we were excited. What an adventure! Sure we were scared and nervous and worried, but we knew we’d be together, and as I’ve said before, the pull to Italy was so strong that we both felt absolutely confident about our decision. But still, living in a foreign country isn’t all romance and fun.
Had Art and I decided to retire to Florida, we would have been strangers in whatever city we’d chosen to live in. But as retirees, I’m betting that there would have been others just like us with whom we could have connected for information. And of course although we wouldn’t know our way around, wouldn’t know the cut-throughs or the short cuts, a good map would help us out. Eventually we’d find the best stores by reading the weekly newspaper ads and by talking with neighbors. We’d find doctors and activities and mechanics the same way.
Life in Florida or in any of the fifty states would have had many similarities to life in Kentucky. English is the common language for the newspapers and television and radio. Things work pretty much the same no matter where you are. We know how to use the phone book, and how to call and ask for help or information.
When you’re living in a foreign country, things aren’t quite so easy. Finding a support system can be difficult, but of course we’ve been lucky because we found our friend Wendy at the beginning of our search. Over the past twenty months we’ve been extremely fortunate to meet other expats. Some have been here for a long time and shared their knowledge with us, while others have come after us, allowing us to be the ones to share. In both cases our love of Italy has been the bond.
As for our Italian friends, they have been slower to come, but that’s obviously due (at least in part) to the language barrier. When we have managed to struggle by with our broken Italian, everyone has been unbelievably kind and helpful. But of course new friends aren’t the same as old friends. We don’t share a history with these people, or even the same frames of reference. We’ve grown up in different cultures, and although we love learning about life in Italy, it can be disconcerting to be so unfamiliar with so many aspects of life here.
Yes, we’re adventurers now, and that comes at a cost. Living in Italy forces us (me!) to be more willing to take a chance, to try something new, to not worry about feeling uncomfortable. It’s teaching me to be more open to other people and other cultures. It’s helping me to see the world as it really is: people….just people. Maybe we speak different languages or have different customs, and maybe we don’t quite understand why things are done a certain way, we still understand that we CAN be happy here.
We don’t have the roots or the history that we would have living in the United States, but we have so much more. We don’t ever have to worry about taking our lives for granted or losing our sense of adventure. Although it might be unsettling to live in a place where we don’t really understand why things work the way they do, it’s also tremendously rewarding. Maybe the very fact that I feel slightly unsettled will force me keep exploring and learning. And so far, the more I learn about Italy, the more I love it.
NEW FRIENDS, FUTURE NEIGHBORS!
JUNE 23, 2005
Just odds and ends to report. Summer seems to have begun…Art killed the first (small) scorpion of the summer just inside the front door. I also killed a small one up in our bedroom....that’s a little scary!
We had guests for lunch yesterday….Anna and Ramon, who found our blog and were excited to know that average people CAN retire to Italy! Like us they were afraid that this was a dream only rich people could ever hope to achieve. Anna is half Italian and is working on getting her citizenship, which will certainly be an advantage once they’re living here.
They’re using this trip to scout out areas and towns just like we did, trying to decide what size town is best, what services they need, and in general just to get a better feel for the area. Like us, they absolutely love the beauty of Umbria, and hope to be living here fulltime within the year.
We had lunch at our house, and as usual, I tried a new recipe. I was still trying to use up the ricotta that Wendy and Giuseppe had brought on Sunday. Wendy told us that there’s a Sardinian family who has a farm not far from her house and of course they produce lots of typical Sardinian products. Since Giuseppe is from Sardinia, this must be a nice taste of home!
The recipe I made was a ricotta/tomato “pie”. The emphasis was on the sweet tastes….the crust was a typical crostata crust made with flour, sugar, lemon zest, butter and eggs. The ricotta was mixed with a little sugar and an egg, then spread over the crust. Roma tomatoes, sliced lengthwise were then arranged on top of that and drizzled with honey! Although it was interesting, it was just too sweet for a main course…maybe it’s actually intended to be a dessert.
The weather was perfect…again….so we ate outside. Ramon and Anna had plenty of questions about making the move. Anna seems to be in like me in that she has lots of questions and likes to know the answers before she embarks on something new. We talked for along time, sharing our stories, asking and answering questions.
I know that just because other people love Umbria as much as we do doesn’t mean we’ll have anything else in common, but so far, we’ve liked everyone who has contacted us. In April we enjoyed meeting Marguerite when she was here house-hunting, and then a few weeks ago Leslie, Brent and Riley were so much fun to spend the day with.
In addition to these passers-by, we also now have new friends in Bob and Rosemary who made the move to Perugia in April, and in Paul and Patty who’ll be here on and off for the next several years before they settle here permanently. And we also have friends in Todi, Terry and Isabella who are also here on and off. Seems that this area is becoming quite the hotspot of Americans! Normally Italians guess that we’re German or British because there are many more of them in this area, and not too many Americans.
Maybe it’s because all of these people have a sense of adventure and an open mind to other cultures. Maybe we’re just lucky to have met really nice people who also share our love of Italy. Whatever the reasons, we really liked Ramon and Anna and look forward to following their progress and to eventually welcoming them to the next chapter of their lives.
After lunch we took a short walk around San Venanzo, then drove around a little. We took the road towards Fratta Todina because of its incredible views, then we drove up to Monte Castello di Vibio, a charming medieval walled city. We walked through the town, marveling at the beautiful wooden doors, the stonework, and the beautiful flowers everywhere. We looked at houses trying to decide which ones we’d like to live in.
We asked a woman who was passing by if there was a restaurant in town, and she told us yes, but that it was small and we’d probably need to make reservations. When I asked if it was located close to the theater, she said “no, follow me”. As we followed her past a group of women sitting on a bench, they laughed and asked her if she was now a tour guide! She told us that she loved her town…not a surprise. We’re always surprised at the kindness of strangers, and at how people go out of their way to help us. It’s always done with such cheerfulness and generosity, and always makes us feel so welcome.
She led us down the stairs and out of the city to a large house. Towards the back of the house was a large canopy with six or eight tables. The woman called out for someone, but got no answer. Beyond the tables we could see some amusement rides set up, and she told us that the festa was getting ready to begin. Hopefully we can stop by one evening to check it out. I’m sure the restaurant will be wonderful…it looks like going to Nonna’s house for dinner!
When we left Monte Castello di Vibio we headed back to Marsciano, passing several fields of sunflowers that were just about ready to open. We had a surprise for Anna and Ramon, because we knew of one field that was already in bloom. The intensity of the color was hard to believe! I plan to go back and take some pictures later this week.
Once in Marsciano we walked through the old centro and found lots of banners hung for the weeklong celebration of St John the Baptist, the patron saint of Marsciano. We stopped at TecnoCasa to say hello to Donatella, but she was out of the office. We told Giovanni to give her our regards, then went into the shop next door where our friend Yvette has just opened a really cool home décor shop. She has all sorts of interesting things…decorative accessories like candles and pictures and ceramics. It’s just a cool mix of stuff, and she said the shop is doing well. She also told us that they had finally moved into their new home where they plan to open a bed and breakfast. For whatever reasons, the sale had taken a long time to be completed.
After all this sightseeing it was definitely time to get something to eat, and as requested, we took Anna and Ramon to Ternana’s. I think they understood what we told them about feeling so welcome there and about how we always feel so energized after we leave. The pizza was fantastic as usual and we had a nice leisurely dinner complete with a carafe of wine.
Even though the pizza was filling, we still had room for gelato. Stefania’s is one of the best we’ve ever had, and the price just can’t be beat. I think our friends were impressed.
We drove back up to San Venanzo just as the sun was setting, turning the sky beautiful shades of pink. Ramon and Anna said goodbye and headed back to their agriturismo near Bevagna. They said they really like the place, and have found their hosts to be very helpful. In a few days Ramon and Anna will head up to the Veneto region to visit with the Anna’s Italian relatives. We’re so glad they contacted us, and are really looking forward to welcoming them as neighbors in the very near future.
A SLEEPLESS NIGHT
Ever have one of those nights when your brain just refuses to turn off? Last night was one of those nights for me. I kept thinking about things I needed to do to get ready for Sunday’s lunch. About emails that I needed to send and about questions I wanted to post on the ExPats message board.
At first I thought I should just get up, write some notes to remind myself in the morning, and go back to bed. I fought this idea for a long time, then finally gave in. It didn’t work. I tried to lie as still as I could, hoping that eventually I’d drift off, but my brain just kept spinning. Eventually I got up and read some more of “The Godfather Returns”. I don’t even know what time it was when I went back to bed, and even then it took me a while to drift off. I wonder what it is that triggers nights like that?
Yesterday we passed Rosalba, Adamo’s sister, as we drove down our street. Once again she asked us when we wanted to begin our language lessons. Once again we told her whenever she wanted. This exchange has been going on for over a year, and we never seem to get together. I have a feeling that their English is much better than our Italian, but they seem genuinely interested in practicing with us.
Today as I walked to the garden, I passed Adamo as he walked up the street to talk to Art. He said “You go to the garden?” very slowly and carefully, and I said “Si, Vado al orto”. He and I have been practicing this way with each other for a while, and it’s helpful to both of us.
We’re also listening to (and repeating) the Pimsleur CD’s we got when we were in the states. My son had recommended them to us, and I think he’s right…they really are going to make a difference. Right now I’m repeating lessons five and six of the first level, and there are three levels, each with thirty lessons.
Although I know the answers to the questions and can repeat the phrases, and although it’s just me and Art, I STILL get tongue-tied and nervous, and I STILL have trouble spitting out the complete phrase quickly and effortlessly. For now I think it’s best to keep repeating the lesson until I’m more at ease.
My rose bush isn’t doing so hot. I planted it in February, and expected it to practically explode with new growth once spring arrived. It has grown a little, but it looks like two of the four branches have died. To add insult to injury, yesterday I noticed that there are aphids on the plant. Guess I need to make another trip to the garden center, but what I’m really tempted to do is to buy another rosebush and start over.
We may be sweltering in July and August, but we sure aren’t sweltering in June. Today was another absolutely perfect day….blue sky, fluffy clouds, lots of sun, nice breeze, no humidity. I guess the high was in the LOW eighties. We sat our on the patio for much of the afternoon and after dinner, reading, studying, enjoying the moment.
Not surprisingly, the director from the kitchen place never did show up this week. Art called to talk with him, but of course he wasn’t in. He did leave a message, but it seems doubtful that we’ll ever hear from anyone at that company. All we need is one small part to replace the broken hinge on one side of our oven vent. It doesn’t seem like such a big request, but for whatever reason, we’ve never been able to get anyone to help us. So, for those of you contemplating a kitchen, add SALIMA in Chiusi Scalo to our list of companies we do NOT recommend!
THE NEIGHBORS VISIT AND OTHER TIDBITS
JUNE 7, 2005
Just as we were welcoming our guests on Thursday, a car pulled up behind us. Inside were our neighbors, the Farnesi’s and their spouses. They, like so many other Italians, had decided to take Friday off and make a four day weekend out of the holiday.
Sandro told us that it was very hot in Bologna, so they were very glad to be in San Venanzo were it was still nice and cool. We introduced them to our American friends and told them we were getting ready to go to the picnic. They told us they wouldn’t be going because they had just arrived and had to unpack the car and open up the house. We wished them well and said we’d see them later.
Not surprisingly we did see them at the picnic. They were sitting amongst their relatives having a great time catching up. Sandro told us that he was going to talk to the mayor, who was also in attendance, about the park clean- up (or lack thereof!)
On Friday Art and I met with Sandro out back to discuss the roof and the gutters. We’ve been waiting for the park to be cleaned and for the dead trees to be cut down before we had the gutters cleaned. So far, the park clean-up has been scheduled for October, then February, and now seems to be on hold.
Art has also been concerned that the roof will need to be replaced soon. Mauro told us that when the roof did need to be replaced it would cost about €30,000. Of course we would split the cost with the Farnesi’s, but €15,000 is still a LOT of money, especially if you don’t have it! A home equity loan, easy to do in the states, isn’t possible here…at least as far as I know.
Can you possibly imagine how relieved we were when Sandro told us the roof was completely re-done ten years ago? Whew! This roof SHOULD last a long, long time…..one hundred? I‘m not really sure how long, but at least long enough so that we’ll never have to worry about paying for a new one.
Sandro did say that the roof should be cleaned. When the pine needles and assorted other tree droppings accumulate on the rounded tiles, weeds can sprout, and I guess it adds weight and retains moisture. He told Art that the two of them would meet with Mauro on Saturday morning to discuss the roof and the gutters.
We’re expecting our half of the roof and gutter cleaning to cost about €1000…pretty expensive, but still cheaper than a new roof.
Additionally, we found out that the assistant mayor is a close relative of Sandro and Iris, and Sandro had spoken with him about the park. Apparently it’s definitely going to done, and it must be finished by November or else the money allocated for it will be lost.
When we ran into the mayor in the grocery store the other day, she told us that the company who has been hired to do the clean-up keeps promising that they’re going to start, but somehow it never happens. So say that we are anxiously awaiting the completion of this project would be an understatement!
Right our backyard is completely private. The park behind us just gives us a huge green backdrop and makes our yard seem larger. I don’t think that opening this area up to the public will create privacy problems, and we’re hoping that it will actually improve our view. The good news is that Sandro and family will be back in August for a full month, and although not much business will be done during august, I’m guessing that he’ll be able to get answers and light the right fires if necessary.
JUNE 13, 2005
Today San Venanzo celebrated the feast of St. Anthony of Padua. What the special connection is I don’t know, but there was a procession through town, marching band and all, then bread was blessed and passed out at the church.
Art and I walked down to the church after the procession had passed our house and several people told us to go inside to get some of the blessed bread. Since we never attend Mass, this wasn’t something I would have done, but since several people urged us to do so, we did.
Later we walked over to the local gelateria with our friend Frank and enjoyed the evening…until I got….too cold! Can you believe it, June 13th, and it’s really cool at night…how wonderful! I’m sure the summer will eventually get hot, but at least we won’t be suffering through three long months of it.
JUNE 15, 2005
We got new tires for the car today….finally. Tires here don’t last as long as they do in the states. These tires had 27,000 kilometers, which is less than 17,000 miles!!!! The main roads here are much rougher and have many more potholes. The large heavy trucks that travel up and down the E45 everyday really take their toll. Additionally, there are many smaller roads that aren’t paved at all…they consist of gravel if you’re lucky, and dirt if you’re not, and they’re usually strewn with holes. The real fun with these roads is after a hard rain!
Anyway, back to the tires. We asked around to see if anyone knew of a good place to get tires, and Wendy recommended the guy they use for the cars where she works. When she called to him ask about prices, he was very secretive and didn’t want to discuss business on the phone! Huh?!
Anyway, he finally gave Wendy a rough estimate, but when her boss Corrado heard the quote, he said, “No wait…let me talk to him!” Who knows how much the price changed after the boss talked to him, but we were expecting to spend about €100 a tire, so anything less than that would be great.
Today we drove into Ponte San Giovanni and followed Wendy to the tire place. It turned out to be one side of a gas station, but apparently is a separate operation. The “tire guy” had told Wendy that he had just received a new shipment, and that we had our choice of Pirelli’s or several other brands. Eventually we settled on a set of Pirelli’s for €85 per tire, and while we walked across the street for a quick cup of coffee, the tires were mounted and ready in less than 35 minutes. Even I could tell the difference!
Wendy and Giuseppe are coming for lunch on Sunday, and I think I’ll make one of those apple crumble desserts that Corrado like so much…Wendy can take it in to work with her on Monday. Since Giuseppe also liked this dessert, maybe she’ll let him have a piece or two before she takes it to Corrado.
WE STILL DON'T RECOMMEND THE COMPANY WE USED TO BUY OUR HOUSE!
I had an interesting email today. It was passed on from a third party to me, and was from the owner of the “agency” we used to buy our house. In this email the owner asked that I stop making disparaging remarks about him and his company. He explained that he had learned a lot in the past three years, and he felt that I was being too hard on him.
For those of you who weren’t there at the beginning, I documented our trials and tribulations with this company, and expressed my great disappointment and dissatisfaction with their service.
I documented my reasons on this blog, and posted them not only as a part of our experience, but also as a warning to others. Some of the situations we encountered were things that needlessly cost us money, or wasted our money. On more than one occasion this company failed to help us with things they should have, and because they were from England, were unfamiliar with the type of questions we, as Americans, had about not only the house itself, but also about the legalities and specifics of the transaction.
Over the past year we’ve met two other couples who also purchased their houses with the help of this company, and both of these couples, one British, one not, told us that they too felt that the service and attention they received was minimal at best. They told us of others they knew who had been treated badly by this man…..in one instance, after showing a couple only four houses, he exclaimed in exasperation “Well what exactly do you want!!??”
The email we received told us not only about how much they had learned in this past year, but also that their partner had left. They seem to want us to believe that it was this partner who was the source of all our complaints and problems, but I don’t think that’s true. Even if it were true, at the time we bought our house, we were generally displeased with everyone in the company.
We made a special trip to Italy, during a period chosen by these people, not us, to close on our house. It was only after several days in Italy that we even found out that the paperwork was not ready….and no one at this company had even bothered to tell us!!! They acted as if this was no big deal, but to me, it was an outright LIE, a deception meant to hide their incompetence. The plane tickets to come to Italy certainly hadn’t been cheap. We had to pay for lodging and a car. Did these people think this would mean nothing to us?
One of the things we were upset about was that their website stated that using their services costs no more than using an Italian agent. Of course the benefits were supposedly the ability to communicate fluently….which was not true, or that they would be able to help us with the legalities and technicalities…which was not true, or that they would be able to answer our questions….which again simply was not true. Additionally we discovered that the charges they touted as “normal” were anything but.
The agent at TecnoCasa told us that their charges to receive our money were not normal, nor were their charges to find us a mortgage. The people at TecnoCasa were quite frankly shocked to find out that we were being charged extra for these services.
Now as expats who jumped right into this thing with both feet, we certainly made mistakes. In our enthusiastic desire to make our move, I’m sure some of our decisions were made too quickly, or without enough information. Three short years later, the amount of information available to people who want to make the move has increased considerably. The ExPats in Italy website didn’t exist when we began our search. The internet itself now yields so much help…help we couldn’t even being to imagine. So yes, we accept some responsibility for our mistakes. Had this company been better qualified, more experienced and more helpful, we think many of our problems could have been avoided.
And yes, we believe that this company has probably learned a lot in these past three years, just as we have. Unfortunately (for them) this doesn’t change our experience or our opinion. They were still impatient and unhelpful at the time when we needed their patience and help the most. They still charged unreasonable fees for services others provide for free. Additionally, they were not “real” real estate agents. Although I don’t know what is involved to be the equivalent of a licensed real estate agent in the U.S., I do know that these people are merely middlemen, taking an extra slice out of the pie.
If others choose to do business with this company, hopefully they’ll benefit not only from what this company has learned, but also from the bad experience we had. Maybe they’ll be better prepared to ask the right questions, the hard questions, and if they don’t receive the answers they want, maybe they’ll be able to walk away without losing any money. The bottom line for us is that based on our experience, we absolutely do NOT recommend this company.
IN SEARCH OF A FESTA
On Saturday we had yet another perfect day. The cool morning gradually warmed up, but we still had a nice breeze and moderate temperatures. I had just said to Art “Aren’t we going to do anything today? It’s so beautiful!” when the phone rang.
It was Rosemary and Bob who had taken the bus from Perugia to Marsciano in search of a strawberry festival. They had seen a poster advertising it in Perugia, and thought it was being held in Marsciano. Upon arriving in Marsciano, they discovered that there was no festa there, strawberry or otherwise, but good instincts led them to Ternana’s for lunch. They didn’t realize it was the same place we had taken them until they stepped inside, and then they knew they’d get a great pizza.
They decided to take a chance a call us because they were so close, and we were so glad they did. We really didn’t know what to do, so we decided to drive down to Marsciano and see if we could find the strawberry festival. We asked about it at our local bar, and they told us the name of the small city where it was being held. They also told us that nothing would be happening during the day….something that we’ve learned, but Bob and Rosemary had not. Even on the weekends, most of these festivals don’t get going until about seven thirty in the evening.
After we picked up Bob and Rosemary, we just headed out in the car for parts unknown. We stopped at Fratta Todina for a quick walk-through and happened to see a poster for some sort of festival in Todi. Knowing how touristy Todi is, we thought there was a good chance the activities would be going on all day so we decided to give it a shot.
There were booths set up in the main piazza, but because this was during the normal afternoon riposa time, not a lot was happening. We finally walked down to a large building covered with banners and discovered lots of booths set up inside. Bob and Rosemary stopped to listed to one artisan explain about how he stamps his art on glass, while Art and I wandered upstairs. We found the usual tables with cheese and oil and wine. Samples were everywhere, and once Bob and Rosemary joined us we sampled a bought a few goodies.
Our friend from Rotecastello had been passing out brochures advertising an antique car show taking place on Saturday night. This apparently was part of a two day road rally that had started in Terni. The participants were spending the night in Marsciano but were driving up to Rotecastello for a dinner, and the cars would be on display. The brochure said they would arrive at seven thirty, so we asked Bob and Rosemary if they would like to come to our house for dinner, and then go to the car show with us. We couldn’t make any promises, but it was worth a try.
We stopped in the Coop for a few supplies the headed back to San Venanzo. I threw dinner together quickly…bruschetta to start, followed by pasta with a tomato/basil/garlic/oil and almond dressing, hen I grilled some pork chops and steamed some green beans. It was simple, delicious and filling. By the time the dishes were done it was nearly seven thirty so we drove the short trip to Rotecastello.
The cars hadn’t yet arrived but the townspeople were getting ready. Several young men were in their medieval costumes and were practicing their drums. Several others in medieval costume joined us at the bottom of the hill as we waited for the cars to arrive. Eventually there were about twenty cars lining the road, all waiting….and waiting…..and waiting.
Finally, at eight thirty, we gave up. We still had to drive Bob and Rosemary back to Perugia, and they were trying to make connections with a friend who had just arrived in Perugia. We figured we’d pass the cars on our way down to Marsciano, but we never saw them. As we passed the Coop parking lot we were surprised to see the cars still on display there, hoods still up, people still milling about. No telling what time they finally made it to Rotecastello.
Bob and Rosemary’s friend eventually got through to them on the phone, and although we were never completely sure where he was staying, they made plans to meet the next day. We dropped them off at the bus station and started back to San Venanzo.
We hadn’t known what to do with our day, but somehow it unfolded as we went along. We never made it to the strawberry festival, the activities in Todi weren’t exactly exciting and the car show was a complete dud, we had a nice time with Bob and Rosemary. After all, what could be better then driving around the beautiful Umbrian countryside, just enjoying the day with friends?
SETTLING BACK IN
June 5, 2005
It’s hard to believe we’ve been back almost a week. In many ways it feels as if we’ve never left. We seem to have slipped back into our normal rhythms, with the exception of sleep. Today I got up about 7:30, and went back to bed at 9:30! I thought I’d sleep an hour or two, but when I heard the church bell ring two o’clock, I was really surprised. Art’s snoozing on the couch right now, and we’re hoping that our sleep patterns are just about back to normal. We’ve had a busy week, up early and to bed late so I guess we haven’t been helping the situation.
Flying home was fairly uneventful. For some reason our plane was re-routed before we left Detroit, delaying our departure while they added more fuel, and increasing the length of the flight. We had been scheduled to arrive in Rome at 10:20 but didn’t land until about 11:20. Our luggage FINALLY appeared and we loaded up two carts and headed outside.
We tried something new this time for our return to Umbria….we took the bus from the airport all the way into Perugia. Luckily we caught the 12:30 bus and didn’t have to wait for the later one. Taking the bus meant that we wouldn’t have to worry about changing trains and heaving all our suitcases on and off…always a challenge. As usual we were loaded down with supplies…things we can’t find in Italy as well as things that cost a lot less in the states.
We called Wendy and arranged to meet her at the bus terminal in Perugia. She would bring our car, then we would take her back to work. The bus was scheduled to arrive in Perugia at 4:15, and we dozed on and off for the entire journey. I wouldn’t say that this was a restful sleep, but, combined with the few hours we had on the plane, it was enough to keep us going for a while.
After a few quick stops we finally made it back to San Venanzo about 6:00 that evening. We unpacked most of the suitcases and started laundry. Wendy had opened up the house for us so it wasn’t too stuffy. Although it had been fairly warm in Perugia, up in San Venanzo it was much cooler and we had a nice breeze. We made ourselves stay up until about eleven, and had no trouble falling asleep.
After a good night’s sleep I was ready to tackle all the stuff we had unpacked. As usual we had quite an assortment: Crisco, spices, vitamins, shampoo, plant food, plastic containers, pecans, computer supplies, clothes, books and more. We had filled our four large suitcases to capacity. For someone who’s not really much of a shopper, I have to admit that I do love to shop when we go back to the states. I’m like a kid in a candy store, I guess because I know what everything is, because there’s such abundance….and because everything seems so cheap compared to Italy.
We saw Adamo and he invited us to a community picnic on Thursday. We thanked him but told him that we were expecting company on Thursday. Leslie from the SlowTrav message board was in Umbria with her family and they were coming for lunch. Adamo told us to bring them along, so we accepted his invitation and hoped that Leslie and her family wouldn’t mind. We thought it might be an interesting experience for all of us, and when we spoke with Leslie we were glad that she seemed to agree. Although we weren’t really sure what this picnic would entail, we knew it would be interesting.
The garden seems to have thrived while we were gone. I don’t think the water bottles I used for heat and protection were necessary, but of course you never know when a sudden frost might occur. The bottles had come in handy for Adamo to water the plants, though, since this May wasn’t as wet as last years.
I planted the basil and a few more pepper plants, but I still need to plant more arugula. What I had planted before we left had obviously gone to seed. We drove to Marsciano one afternoon to visit the garden center …the one we didn’t know about until Giacomo drove past it on his way to the airport. I bought some flowers for the window boxes and back yard….not as many as last year, but I’m still trying to get it right.
Leslie, her husband Brent and daughter Riley arrived in San Venanzo around eleven and we gave them the house tour and then a quick tour of the city before we left for the picnic. Leslie has been following our blog for quite a while and had contacted us about getting together. When I suggested lunch at our house, she was really excited to be able to see in person all the things I had written about, and to see things that she had only seen in pictures.
Brent is about to retire from a career in the army and the family is just settling down in a new house in Atlanta. We really liked both Leslie and Brent, and their nine year old daughter Riley was not only beautiful, but also well-behaved….in other words, the perfect child.
I had planned to bake some brownies for the picnic even though Adamo had said we didn’t need to bring anything. When I ran out of time and didn’t get the brownies baked I decided not to worry about it, and as it turned out, it was a good thing.
We knew we’d have to park on the main road and walk down to the picnic area, and as we got closer, we saw that there were already about 100 people there. Tables and chairs were set up everywhere and we met Adamo on his way back to town to get more.
The huge grill was blazing and people were busy preparing food. We still didn’t know exactly what the menu would be, but of course we knew it would be delicious and filling. We found Adamo’s table and sat down. It was in the perfect spot overlooking the whole area so we could indulge in one of our favorite pastimes, people watching.
Riley found her way to the creek where a bunch of the kids were playing. Catching tadpoles in water bottles seemed to be the sport of the day and she jumped right in there despite the language barrier. With her olive skin and dark curly hair she blended in perfectly…..Until some pre-adolescent boys started to bombard her with questions, causing her to run back to our table for some reassurance. After a quick pep talk from mom and dad, and the reassurance from Luciano that she was “bellissima” she was ready to face the kids again, and eventually she settled in with a couple of the local girls. Despite the language barrier they managed to get along just fine.
Adamo’s sister Rosalba and her husband Luciano arrived, along with their guests, fellow professors. Rosalba is the friendliest, most animated person you’ve ever seen, and we all had fun just watching her.
The weather that day was absolutely perfect: it was warm enough for the kids to play in the creek, yet still cool enough in the shade. We had a nice breeze to tempt us with the smells of the food as it cooked, so by the time lunch was served we were all more than ready to eat.
When it was time to eat, Adamo made the announcement and in normal Italian style, a herd formed at the serving table. Lines seem to be unheard of in Italy; it’s strictly every man for himself.
The first course was bruschetta and bread with prosciutto. We each took a plate and settled back at our tables. Each table had bottles of home made red wine and also bottled water that had been cooled in the stream.
After fifteen or twenty minutes everyone started to line up for the second course. Despite the fact that this was a picnic, the second course was still pasta. A HUGE vat of water was boiling with pasta, and as it was drained the pasta was added to large pots of tomato sauce and stirred to mix.
Not surprisingly, the pasta was cooked perfectly al dente and the sauce was amazing. I told Riley this might be the only time in her life when she had pasta at a picnic!
After the pasta course came the grilled meats….sausages and pork grilled to perfection on that huge grill. I guess years of practice ensure that everything is perfect, but we were all suitable impressed.
Cake and crostata were served for dessert for those who still had room, then watermelon was cut as the grand finale. Wow!
As the afternoon wore on the crowd got smaller and smaller as people started leaving. I guess it was about four o’clock when we decided to head back to the house. By this time Riley was soaking wet but very happy…she had a nice collection of tadpoles as a souvenir.
We thanked Adamo and said our goodbyes. What a great experience for all of us! We were so glad that Leslie Brent and Riley had gotten to share it with us!
I don’t know about Leslie and her family, but Art and I didn’t even think about eating dinner that evening!
GAS PRICES AND A NEW GARDEN CENTER
Gas was all over the place while we were in the states….it was in the $2.20+ range when we arrived then dropped slowly to $1.89…..before it jumped back up 20 cents one night….than slowly declined back to the $1.89 range just before we left. What is up with that? And when and why did diesel fuel start costing more than regular gas?
We saw the movie “Crash” right before we left the states, and while it was in incredible powerful movie, it was also so incredibly sad. I guess the point the movie was trying to make explains why we moved to Italy. It’s so frustrating to see the world becoming more impersonal and more hardened. Sometimes when I have a problem with a store clerk or a flight attendant I really REALLY try to make a personal connection, but so often I’m just unable to break through the shell of self-defense and fear that these people have covered themselves with. When I deal with someone who really is trying to be helpful or who goes out of their way to be nice, it’s so unexpected, and that’s such a sad commentary on our lives today.
We had a great visit with the grandgirls in Florida. Siobhan is three going on thirty…and has quite a mind of her own. She’s a Capricorn too, so I understand the temperament. She’s also incredibly intelligent, and totally bi-lingual, although she hesitates to speak Spanish in public. Frank says he thinks that Siobhan thinks Spanish is just some sort of pig-latin that just the two of them share.
Maeve is absolutely adorable! She has these HUGE blue Betty Boop eyes and fat little cheeks. She’s a happy baby, crawling like crazy. We don’t know if she’ll walk of not….the spina bifida is very unpredictable. Almost surely she’ll have bowel and bladder issues, but to what degree no one knows. She’s trying to pull up now, and gets up as far as her knees. Because she won’t be one for another six or seven weeks, she could just be a slow starter.
I don’t know how Frank and Siobhan manage to keep such an optimistic outlook, but of course a positive attitude really helps everybody. Shannon is so good with the girls…patient and caring. I wish I’d been a better parent. Maybe if I’d waited until I was a little older I might have done a better job.
We stopped by the garden center this afternoon. I only have a few flowers out….I didn’t want to risk losing them while we were in the states. I needed some ivy geraniums, impatiens, and a few more basil plants.
We’ve lived here since September 2003, and we never knew there was a nursery in Marsciano! We found out about totally by accident. When Belinda and Giacomo drove us to Rome, Giacomo had to stop at his car insurance agent’s office to pay his premium. The office was right across the street from Ternana’s and once we were ready, Giacomo turned right towards the emergency room entrance rather than going through town. The road eventually took us to the road where the new large apartment building has just been completed. Along the way, we passed a nursery…perhaps not as large as VIP, but still, a LOT closer! And right next door was another furniture store!!!! Boy did I feel stupid!!!
GOING HOME
Going home! These words usually caused mixed emotions, especially when they also signal the end of a vacation. Of course for us, the end of vacation doesn’t carry the dread of going back to work; for Art, the end of this vacation actually signals the END of work! How confusing is this?!
Although we’re both ready to be home…in our own space, with our own bed, there are things we leave behind in the states. Things like children and grandchildren. Things like a comfort zone, and confidence. No matter how much we love Italy, life in the United States is the norm for us….for better or worse.
I do love driving without fearing for my life….but that’s not to say that driving in the states in always safe. I love being able to read the paper or watch the news and have a fairly good understanding of the news of the day. I know the background, the history, the mentality. I understand some of the reasons why things happen in the United States…with the major exception being that last presidential election. I love feeling confident that no matter what problems I might encounter, I’ll be able to handle them. I’ll be able to explain my problem, understand the answer, and be able to ask more questions or even argue my point if need be.
Now, after six long weeks, we’re returning to Italy, the place we chose as home. So why am I feeling nervous? Could it be that after six weeks my shaky Italian will be even shakier? I feel as if I’m starting over every time we return to Italy, but this time I have the Pimsleur course to help me, and I’m determined to work a little harder to improve my Italian.
Maybe the problem is that I just don’t know where I fit in Italy. When we lived in the states I had a job, and not just at the Post Office. I was a wife and a mother and a grandmother and a sister and a friend. I loved to read and to travel and to listen to music….the Beatles, U2, Lyle Lovett. I played with photography and cooking and gardening. And here I am in Italy….I’m still a wife and a mother and I still read and listen to music and take pictures. So what’s different?
I think it’s because I feel like what I REALLY am….an outsider.
Maybe I’m just nervous because I’m still finding my way in Italy. Although it’s great not to be chained to a time clock or a schedule, sometimes I feel as if we’re not using our time wisely. Shouldn’t we be studying Italian, reading those books we’ve been meaning to get to and checking out the local history? Shouldn’t we be “working” at enjoying our retirement? Wait a minute…..am I worrying too much again? Wouldn’t it be okay to just enjoy each day without having to make plans? But what’s the point of being in Italy if we’re not going to see and learn about Italy? Hmmmm……maybe I should start taking the anti-anxiety medication my doctor prescribed.
I had gotten a prescription for an anti-depressant last May. My doctor and I had talked about it, and there seemed to be several pluses to this medication. Unfortunately I had to admit that this medication was a failure in every area and decided to just stop taking it (with my doctor’s approval, of course).
When I saw her a few weeks ago, we started talking about how I felt, and I began to realize that the term “depression” really didn’t describe me. I still enjoy doing the things I’ve always enjoyed, and although I might be insecure, I don’t have low self esteem or feelings of worthlessness. What I really feel is anxiety.
I worry about everything. I like to be in charge….of everything. While we were waiting for my mom’s estate to close, I worried about the credit card bills that were piling up. Now that the estate has closed and I’ve paid off the credit card accounts, I worry that we won’t have enough money to meet our month to month bills. I worry that even if we DO have enough money to pay our bills that we won’t be able to go back to the states in December. I worry that we won’t be able to afford expensive repairs to the house that might be in our future. If we were in the states a phone call could secure us a home equity line, but here in Italy, what will we do?
So the bottom is line….now I’m worrying about worrying! Although I don’t suffer panic attacks, I think I stay in a constant state of panic. I can’t seem to relax and go with the flow. I have to constantly remind myself that it doesn’t matter if we get somewhere five minutes later, or if we wait until another day. I have to force myself to relax! So, thanks to better living through chemistry, I hope this new “anti-anxiety” drug will help me to loosen up a little.
I guess I’m also worried about going back to Italy and not fully enjoying each day. I’m determined not to waste one second. I promise to study my Italian, to lose some weight, to read some books and to enjoy the beauty and simplicity of Italy. Maybe I’m just afraid of being too happy…..but I’m going to give it a try.
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Spina Bifida
